Cosmic Cravings .

Lately I've been having a lot of cravings. Things that I'd never imagine id crave have taken my mind hostage.  

One of the many being a connection. 

I'm a strong believer of connections between humans, it's what's always driven me to be a part of a community and not become absolutely recluse and oblivious of everything. 

It's easy to find yourself or others constantly rant about humanity. About how humans are filth. Maybe in some aspects they can be. But today I wanna focus on one thing that makes us special. It's the ability to feel. I'm sure every living being feels. Plants, organisms,  animals, all of them feel. But it's the awareness of feeling that makes us different. It's the awareness of thinking and being aware of thoughts and reflecting on them that makes us different. 

I've realized the importance of both feeling and thinking in the last few years. I think a lot of us aren't aware enough of the capabilities we hold. Of how far your mind and heart can take you if you let it. 

For many this awareness of being not just alive but living, comes from certain people. For me, it's always just happened. But there's a feeling I've heard so much about that I'm having a craving for. I'm not sure if it's for this feeling or the experience of the feeling. 

I think it's the latter. 

I'm craving a person who I don't know if even exists out there, who I can feel so unusually connected to that its unfathomable and surreal. Are you getting my drift? It's so easy to find beautiful connections with fellow humans in this world, but what's difficult is to sustain them. Sometimes I meet someone I find so interesting that I get immersed in their mind in a few days. But these people often fade away or the interesting parts of them do. Sometimes I meet people I develop beautiful friendships with. 

But lately I'm craving a connection that goes beyond the territory of temporary musings and long term friendships. 

I'm craving someone who can make my mind turn and light up like a carousel. Who can make me feel perpetually tipsy and drunk. Or lightheaded and fogged up. Who when I see I feel the way I feel when I see a zillion fairy lights, or hear incredible guitar riffs. Or someone whose mind is like a million fireworks that I can sit and watch and hear in awe. Some kind of a cosmic connection . Ive met many people who have given me some of these experiences singularly. 

I guess I'm having a craving  to feel all of it together, culminated and carefully collected, to an extent that it builds up within me and bursts out, drowning me whole even though I may not be able to swim in the ocean of it. 

I don't even know if any of this makes even a drop in the ocean worth of sense, I guess I'm just thinking out loud.