Night trains

It's was 9pm, rain drizzled lightly

Running in slant rhythm with the wind

There was only darkness outside

The only way to know the train was moving was to focus on the vibrations below the sole of my shoes

Slow, even, left right left right, went my shoulders

The silver handles shook faintly in order

The hypnotising bliss of the night 

Destinations were known but not seen 

And the train would jerk a halt

The daze broken into disorientation

Anticipation set in, move move move , I'd say in my head

As my mind wandered trying to catch any evidence of light, streets or buildings in this blackness

Awhile later a slow motion jerk would begin

Again, the only evidence of movement the vibration below the sole of my feet 

Inertia would cause my shoulders forward

My back arching 

And with a grace that I lacked otherwise

I'd slide back into the seat

As if the air had hands slowly pushing my shoulders behind

My back touching the seat bit by bit

And as the wheels took full force

And the train moved past the city of darkness 

The daze would set in again

The calmness of uncontrolled slow movements

Maybe you're a little like that moment of fading in

The moment inertia feels like an old friend

That I cannot see

I cannot touch 

Only let my muscles and body 

Slowly set it in

Only my mind could imagine what this force would look like

Sometimes I wonder if this experience is even real

If you're even real ?

And as soon as my shoulders hit the seat again, I open my eyes

And you're gone

The inertia swallowed in by the forces of the real physical world

No ones looking, no one notices

But I try hard to catch a hold of you 

I cannot touch you

I cannot find you 

I cannot smell you 

Feels like I left you behind on the previous station

How do I memorise you now?

I wait, for the next stop to arrive, maybe our paths would cross again

You do not disappoint 

If I could be stuck in an infinity loop of feeling this invisible pull 

Push me ever so gently every time the wheels stopped

I would never get off this night train 

When I look around again, it's just us.

Every seat empty, did the whole world get off and go to sleep? 

Is the world trying set us up? 

If no one is here, how do I know I'm here?

With no accountability,  how do I prove that you are not imaginary?

Maybe you're just a powerful wind passing by 

What if I've deluded myself into making you ?

Give me a sign, 

Just for a minute, become real.