5

How do I know that you're doing okay? 

How do I ever find out that you'll be fine

Lately these feelings have been going in cycles 

Every month, I miss you 

Then I hate you 

Then I remember you 

And then, I empower myself towards forgetting you and your ignorance 

And finally, I think of forgiving you, for my own sake

And then,

Another month comes by, 

And I miss you again

But I must fight the urge of knowing how you're doing 

Because one of us has to stay off the seesaw

I must believe you're taken care of 

By the people that you chose 

I must believe you're doing the right thing for yourself and surviving well 

I must believe that we'll grow up fine

Without each other