Do you remember the name of that wine?

Not too long ago I asked 

Do I like you 

Or do I like how you make me feel 

At the time my answer was - I want it to be both

That’s not really an answer is it? 

Maybe I was reflecting like a mirror 

How your attachment felt high one day and void the next 

In a period of confusion, fear, change and loss 

You came in feeling like an unexpected breath of fresh air 

Needless to say, time revealed you were yet another boy

I made you special in my head 

for a short time, your care, attention, desire felt accessible in a way 

that affection hadn’t felt for years 

It was soft and calm one moment

Intense and wild the next 

I knew from that first glass of wine that we’d not make it out of that week 

it wasn’t going to be love 

Yet, the adrenaline rush and whoever you were trying to be 

Was enough addiction to ignore my intuition 

I do think about you, but not in a way you’d expect 

Your harsh goodbye still plays like a radio, 

as if I ever asked for a forever 

It was every tick a bad first meeting could ever start on, 

Yet against all good judgement 

And free falling into my disregulation 

I chose to stay 

You made it worth my time after all 

But season turned careless and cold, 

once I was out of sight and out of mind 

Soon the the little time and wide scars you caused 

will inevitably fade away

But for now, I hate that I am still a well wisher 

In the end, I felt so small around you, 

and all of you got to walk away feeling like a winner

in a game that we were never meant to play

Do you remember the name of that wine?