Dont let your worries dictate who you are.

Hey guys! How's everyone doing? :) I hope the answer is good, if not then I swear things will be good. Cheesy start eh? Yeah I'm in a surprisingly good mood today. In the kind of a mood when I won't let 'my worries dictate who I am'.

Get itttttttt? The title and the reference ? Yeah yeah its not funny when you explain the joke huh :P

So the new students showed up in my college today after a long trial of admission processes(which I recall are very very tiring and mindfu......g

Like if I walk down the memory lane, I remember not getting my preferred college in the first list and we were supposed to go secure admission in the college the list allotted us  Ikr else we'd be thrown out of the process.

Oh and I'd got the college I wanted in the second list so before I confirmed admission there I had to go cancel admission in the old college that I originally had got. Confusing as shit.

So basically the college I got was this one with a massive campus and it took me and my mom ages to find the right place, oh and its was raining craaaaazy (Mumbai rains are like woaaah) my windsheater was hopeless and mom was wearing heels so it took her ages to cross the puddles, we both hadn't eater anything since morning and I having a bad patience level, was very grumpy. The staff seemed pissed at the students who came to cancel the admission and well it was no fun. The confirmations slips took ages to print and then after we got it, there was no way to go secure my admission in the other college because it was raining so heavily the roads wew clogged.

I reached late and then got to know I had to buy an envelope so I ran to the stationary while my mom waited in one of the classrooms. Not a single store had it. I actually found another lady who had the same issue, she seems trustworthy so I jumped into her car and we went to the postal office to get envelopes and stamps. (My parents were very pissed about how confident I am about getting into cars with strangers later that day)

So basically I came home late in the evening , drenched tired and hungry.

Anyway congratulations to all those who got through the horrific procedure and are in college now.

Remember how school was the safe haven where you knew almost everyone and had your own set of friends, where your teachers knew you and there was unity and peace(well sometimes) ? College is nothing like that. For the non Indian readers, Indian concept of junior college is what you call junior and senior year of high school.

And that's when the real shit starts. You prepare a week in advance, mentally that you'll be okay, in a new environment.  You buy new clothes, all your required books (uhhh not always). And the day that's gonna be your first you make sure you look like a bomb. ;)

You enter college and its like a new country, strange faces and a completely different infrastructure. Your eyes gleaming with hope and fear, dreams and aspiration about how this new life will take you places you haven't yet ventured la di da di da.

I remember feeling that way. Feeling scared. Because the long protective walls of school no longer covered me. I was taking the first step into the real world and it was beyond exciting. I was lucky to have most of my closest friends from school in the same college, most of them were in a different class, but I naively thought that doesn't change our friendship.

Sadly I'm not even friends with the 'close friends' who were in my class. So yeah college is the very definition of unexpected.

At first you'll find all your dreams crushed and stabbed, but don't sorry you will find your group of friends soon.

For me it didn't happen until mid 11th grade. I was never a very social person but I tried my best on first year.

I tried to be outgoing, an extrovert, because of my fear of being alone. I was worried. And trust me most of the worries were stupid and incredibly shallow and silly. (Three s words in a row wow)

Like if I look okay, if I'm talking properly, I tried not to be sarcastic and mean(which is who I am) I tried a lot of things that wasn't what I'd do if I was myself. And I'm not ashamed of it either, each on of us at some point in our live try to be people we aren't. Why? Because we are worried about things about our real personality or other things.

So one thing you need to remember when you start college or high school or anything  is that you have to be yourself. People will judge you irrespective of who you try to be. So what's the point? Who cares what they think , as long you respect yourself you're good to go!

This applies to not just college or high school but any new experience in life, face your worries but don't let them define you, live like yourself.

So here's the song from my title : Don't forget who you are by Miles Kane.

He's amazing! Indie rock and really hot. Clearly he's this week's recommendation :)

See you guys soon and good luck for college all this first years!