The Limerance is Passing

People seem so different 

When you stop caring for/about them 

All the little cracks you were filling away

like Kintsugi, 

become jarringly evident, 

The inconsistencies and differences,

expand and glare at you

You know how it feels, to eat cold ramen?

Isn't it the worse?

That's how you seem now 

Now, that the steam has evaporated.

Oh to be a girl, you could be so brilliant, 

worldly, accomplished, sparkling and colourful

unapologetically fierce and empathetic 

swam through oceans of sick and death 

ran marathons bleeding with broken bones,

worked relentlessly to nurture and heal

 

Yet, one moment of limerance 

and a cruel word from a man

just like that, watch it all burn down

And unravel brutally, such is the hold of power 

careful what you yearn for, 

because it is so easy to slip under the glass ceiling 

you worked your whole life to shatter

Don't project and pass the cruelty forward 

How can I forget, what it felt like

to be 13 years old, afraid of the mirror

and those mean snickering boys in the hallway

who took pleasure in nitpicking how our skirts fit

so afraid of feeling anything but a sense of control

anger and indifference, their entitlement haunts me 

And your so called honesty and warnings 

Resound their cruelty, that I had to learn far too young

Must be nice to be ignorant, still a boy so afraid to feel

you keep love shackled in transactions 

like a wishlist to put star ratings on

your ignorance is dangerous though, when it bleeds out of your little world 

people are not products made for your satisfaction, 

Without anyone asking, you throw your feedbacks and reviews around 

Cheapening a rare connection like a refunded purchase

Contrary to popular debunked belief, 

a girl is not made for your objectification and demands

Just like you don't let the food sit out cold, 

warm your mind and heart up ever so often too

But I let myself indulge in you, so I'm not far from the blame

I mistook filling your time for desire

judgement for concern, entitlement for interest

Believing the sweet whispers while you measured me up in your mind

But you know, I liked you despite of 

meanwhile you reduced me to a checklist

I remember still, that 13 year old girl

We always deserved better than lukewarm

Better than cold hands and a starving belly 

imagine how sad it would make the ones 

who loved her unconditionally

seeing her settle for inadequacy 

So easy to taint a beautiful short memory

with a few callous careless words 

The limerance is passing

Like a noon tide, abruptly and harshly, 

leaving your feet shaky against the sliding sand 

I was so afraid of being forgotten as a fizzling fleeting memory

That I held on when I knew I should've swam away 

but for you, I'd rather be a footnote now