Why should i?

Today is an angry post day. Why? Because I'm angry. Just angry. And what makes me more mad is that I can't stay angry for longer than 5 minutes. I start feeling guilty. I start thinking its probably my fault. And I start justifying the other persons actions. Why can't I just be angry. Why do I have to be the bigger person and give up my anger. Why do I have to understand every time. Why do I have the need to try justify my actions all the time.  Why can't I just for once do something and have the right to do it. Without questions without judgements. And after all that I'm the one who gets the blame, the one who apologises. Every time. No one makes me do it. I just do. Why can't I stop making myself the bad person and consider everyone else to be the good one. Its not fair. People just say and do things without thinking about how the other person might feel. They never put themselves in my shoes and think. Just call it joke and forget about it. But when someone does the same to them they start hating the person. Then why should I understand? Why do I? Anyone can come and say all the crap they want and expect it to be forgotten and not talked about. But once just once if I slip a wrong word in anger I'm the worst person ever. If I can try to understand their feelings then why can't other people do the same. Maybe I just care to much about everyone. I try to see things and situations from everybody's perspective and rule out my own. So they feel better. For once can someone do the same. Or am I too selfish to ask for a little explanation a little understanding.  After all that still no consideration?