Memories

So today was really sad. Diwali is almost over and that means with it my temporary excitement is over too. This happens every year. Like I mentioned in my last posts, diwali was the perfect distraction from all the thoughts and worries clogged up in my head. But now its over and so I was back to thinking and thinking and thinking. I guess we can never really stop worrying unless we face it. I woke up after sleeping for 12hours at 2pm in the afternoon. All I did was watch reruns and listen to music on TV. For the very few hours that I was home it got pretty lonely. Very lonely. I wanted to go for a walk but like I said I didn't wanna go alone, that wouldn't help my situation. So I asked my just-woke-up-from-a-long-afternoon-nap dad if he wants to go. He said yes and so it was done.
Around an hour later I set out along dad and my phone in moms cool looking super uncomfortable shoes. Appearances are deceptive. Really those black monsters killed my feet. And dads fast walking didn't do me any good either. I tried catching up but man he walks fast! I even told him that and he said he's walking slow for me. I was like if this is slow I'd have to sprint to catch up with normal. I actually had to run to reach where he was. I could feel the shoe brushing against the skin of my feet and cutting in, but I took the pain. Pain never bothered me much, after a while I'd learn to take it.
We went for a lot of walks when I was in school, every Sunday evening when he'd be free. We would take long tricky routes to the beach, walk there for a bit and then stop. He would do stretching exercises while I'd watch the waves. Then we would walk back home. We didn't talk much throughout. It would be in silence. But once or twice I would ask him some random question and he would answer. We would talk about it for a while and then once again silence. Today I got reminded of how I've been searching juhu(the area I live in) for a peaceful secluded place. So I asked him- when you were a kid and you'd be angry or sad was there any place you'd go for peace of mind. He said that he would just run off, leave the house,  play with his friends, cool off and come back home. He told me that living in a village they didn't have a lot to demand or ask for. So they rarely fought with their parents or get angry over material things. He told me about the river he used to take me to for swimming during the summer when we visited my grandparents at the village. He said their summers and winters would pass by playing at the river side. During summers they swam in the river. While in winters they played football, volleyball or badminton. It sounded like a pretty good childhood. Away from the busy greedy city life. Just a simple happy childhood. Maybe growing up in a village wouldn't be so bad. Yea it has its own flaws but my dad turned out to be pretty awesome. He is the one man I've respected my whole life. I always tried to match up to his footsteps be like him. Quite literally. Even as a kid I would try walking along with him and match our footsteps. I don't know why I just always did that, even now. While crossing the street my gaze would constantly be at the ground checking if we are still walking together while he held my pinky finger to help me cross.
After the beach we just went to the bookstore where he bought me a Sidney Sheldon novel and we came back home pretty late.
It was a long tiring walk but I got to relive my old memories that I have kept safe with me. These memories are what make me strong. During the bad times they are what i hold on to. And these walks were the only time I spent alone with dad. I guess that's where the love for walks comes from ;)
Its been only a few days since vacations started and its been a mixture of good and bad. But I'm glad I'm spending more time with my parents. So I guess my day wasn't so sad after all. Also some pictures of the streets decorated for diwali that I passed by. Will blog soon.